Social Anxiety in Teens: Signs You Might Miss (and What to Do)
Written by: Kristen Hanisch, LCSW
You might not notice it at first. Your teen seems polite, well-behaved, maybe a little shy—but nothing that raises concern. They’d rather stay home than go to the party. They get “tired” before school presentations. They laugh off invitations with “It’s just not my thing.”
But beneath the surface, these patterns might be signs of something deeper: social anxiety in teens often flies under the radar, masked as moodiness, introversion, or even defiance.
Subtle Signs of Social Anxiety in Teens
Social anxiety doesn’t always look like a panic attack in the school hallway. Sometimes, it shows up in more subtle ways:
Avoiding phone calls or refusing to order at restaurants
Overthinking every text they send (or don’t send)
Clinging to one “safe” friend and avoiding new social situations
Meltdowns before school or group events
Excessive worry about being judged or embarrassed
Physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches—especially before social activities
These are not just personality quirks or “typical teen behavior.” If left unaddressed, these teenage anxiety symptoms can lead to long-term struggles with self-esteem, relationships, and emotional well-being.
Why Teens Hide Their Anxiety
Teens with social anxiety often appear calm or even “aloof” on the outside—but inside, they’re they’re a ball of anxiety and self-doubt. They don’t want to be seen as dramatic or weak, so they keep it to themselves. As a result, even caring and attentive parents can miss the signs.
That’s why it’s so important to notice the patterns, not just the moments. Is your teen pulling back more often? Do they seem anxious about things they used to enjoy? Are they increasingly self-critical or sensitive to how others perceive them?
If so, it might be time to take a closer look.
How to Help a Teen With Social Anxiety
Here’s the good news: social anxiety is highly treatable, especially when caught early. With the right support, your teen can learn skills to manage anxiety, build confidence, and feel more like themselves again.
Here’s how to start:
Validate their feelings without trying to fix them right away. “I know this feels really hard. You’re not alone in this.”
Avoid forcing exposure before they’re ready—start with small, safe steps.
Help them name what they’re feeling instead of labeling them as shy or avoidant.
Encourage therapy for teens with a provider who understands anxiety and adolescent development.
Therapy offers a safe space for your teen to explore what’s underneath the anxiety and learn concrete coping strategies they can use in real life.
For some families, weekly sessions are the best pace. For others, EMDR therapy or therapy intensives provide the focused support their teen needs to make progress more quickly.
What to Look for in a Teen Therapist
When searching “teen therapist near me”, look for someone who:
Specializes in teen anxiety and self-esteem
Uses evidence-based tools
Builds rapport easily with teens and helps them feel seen—not judged
Remember, you’re not just looking for any therapist—you’re looking for the right fit for your teen. Someone who “gets it.”
Learn more about teen therapy here.
Give Your Teen Relief—Without the Shame
Social anxiety can be sneaky. But it doesn’t have to rule your teen’s life. If your child is avoiding things they once enjoyed, second-guessing every social interaction, or spending more and more time alone—it might be time to reach out.
Therapy doesn’t just help teens “push through” their anxiety—it helps them understand it, regulate it, and build confidence from the inside out.
Kristen Hanisch, LCSW, is a teen anxiety therapist and the founder of Hanisch Counseling Services, providing EMDR intensives and therapy for teens across New Jersey. Kristen specializes in helping anxious, high-achieving teens build self-esteem and emotional regulation skills. Learn more at www.hanischcounselingservices.com.